Making Rain

I am still absorbing the run from Tuesday afternoon. It was unseasonably warm. I had a court hearing in Bloomington and with daylight savings time, it gets dark at 5:30 p.m. this time of year. My hearing was at 11:30 a.m. and I did not exit the courtroom until 1:00 p.m. I had promised my nephew Nathan, a sophomore at IU, that I would see his dorm room this time in town. Last time I dropped him and his girlfriend off at the curb after a hurried lunch. I think my car wheels may have still be rolling as I dropped them off. Anyway, I phoned Nathan at 11:30 to advise I was in town and to ask what his schedule was for the day.

He was available until 2:30 p.m. and he invited me to see his dorm. I am a second mother to Nathan and I really wanted to see his dorm and to visit with him.

And so I illegally parked and took myself, along with my running bags, into Nathan's dorm. I bought him lunch in the cafeteria located in the basement. I took the grand tour of his floor. He was very proud. I put money on his food card for him and we chatted about family matters, after which I changed into my running clothes in his dorm room while he went to brush his teeth.

On my way to Bloomington I called St. Francis of Central Avenue on his cell phone to ask where a good place to run in Bloomington is. He suggested running Griffey Lake near the golf course. After court I asked The Judge where a good place to run in Bloomington is. He suggested Griffey Lake and the golf course.

It was a consensus.

So I dropped Nathan at Kelley Business, and headed to my running destination. I was so very motivated by the sunshine and the 62-degree weather. It was 5-years to the date of my near-death pulmonary embolism which caused a loss of part of my lung. Fully 95-pounds later, I was eager for the opportunity to celebrate a life lived and a life to come.

When I arrived I realized that I had just entered a running heaven of sorts. There is a trail which circles Griffey Lake which I am told extends about 9 miles. I never got to measure that trail and here's why:

Somewhere early on I followed what I thought was a pedestrian path into the woods. I assumed that all of the leaves had made the path nearly impossible to see. I jogged quite a bit and lost the path completely. I thought to myself that this was the dumbest suggestion ever made to me by St. Francis of Central Avenue and The Judge.

"Who in God's name runs through the woods with no path?" Within about 10 minutes I was exactly where I began. I had made a small circle, thinking I was instead making progress. I then had irrational thoughts about St. Francis and The Judge being conspiratorial morons.

I gave it another whirl, following my steps back into the woods, but this time deviating deeper into the woods.

I phoned my husband to tell him that I was having the time of my life running through the woods, but that he should at least know where I was in case I fall down one of those steep ravines to the left of me. The leaves were slippery and I am uncoordinated. He told me that I should not be running through the woods, but that I should instead be working, and asked whether I shouldn't be "making some rain" instead of wasting an afternoon in the woods. I recognized his comments for what they were and I felt sorry for him and his fears and his anxiety. I felt sorry for him because he was not climbing through the woods with me, and most sorry for him because he could not see the forest for the trees.

He triggered the little voice inside which had pushed me to work myself into a morbidly obese, blood clotting, miserable woman. That little voice said, "why are you out here all alone in the woods wasting time when you have so much work to do, and when you have a family to support?"

I spoke back to the voice with my legs. I pushed through the woods even faster. A bit later I looked down to see blood streaming from my shin bones. Lost in thought, I had not noticed that my bare legs were being cut to shreds by thorns as I raced through the woods.

I was not wearing trail shoes. My legs were exposed. I did have my batman belt and an extra bottle of Smart Water.

I went deeper. Before I knew it I was surrounded by briers and brush and there was no trail anywhere. I climbed down a steep ravine. I climbed up a steep ravine. I did this 4 more times. At the top of the 5th ravine, in the middle of this woods where no soul would join me, I heard noises all around me. I began to have thoughts of the movie Deliverance. My heart pounded and my adrenaline shot up. I told myself that I had done something stupid getting lost in these woods and now my number was surely up.

I spun around to see 5, maybe 8 deer, surrounding me completely. There was one deer with small antlers. There were 2 small does. There was one rather large deer which froze and came closer to me.

Just days prior I had encountered a deer alone on a path and he lingered with me for over 10 minutes. I took 2 videos and several photos of that deer as he came closer. It was as though he wanted to tell me something. And he did.

Back to Griffey Lake, these deer seemed like ghosts to me. They milled about as though I were the ghost. They seemed entirely unconcerned with my presence. I was in their world, and not visa verse. I was not a threat to them, obviously. I sent a good friend a text message which read, "There are deer everywhere!"

I wanted to pause the moment in time forever. I did not want to move forward or backward. I just wanted to be. That's all. I wanted to be and float about and sense my invisibility.

Of course, it didn't last, because I made several motions which caused the deer to realize that I was a foreigner among them. The largest deer took the initiative in scrambling away from me. He leaped past me and stood at the edge of the ravine. It was very steep, and deep and there was no sloping angle. It dropped straight off.

And then I saw an amazing thing. This deer ran straight down the wall of the ravine. I thought he was committing deer suicide or something. I thought I had scared him into jumping off of the ledge. I ran to the ledge, why I do not know. I mean, I wasn't going to perform some kind of a deer rescue.

I ran to him which frightened all of the other deer. I stood on the very ledge and looked over and watched as this woods ghost leaped downward...straight downward, and then he leaped across the ravine, perhaps 30 feet, maybe more, and landed on the other side. He then made a rapid assent to the top of the ravine on the other side. It was as though he floated in air to the top.

I considered that this deer knew nothing about the laws of gravity, but he was certainly bound by them, nonetheless, wasn't he? He knew nothing about the idea that he could not do what he had just done. He seemed to have no concept of limits at all.

He was graceful throughout this exhibition. His large white tail bounced high as he arrived at his destination. He bounced across the ridge of the ravine as if to perform a victory dance. And then he stopped and stared over at me, as if to say, "Its your turn."

I wanted to follow him, more than anything, and so I headed over to the part of the ravine off to the right about 20 yards which allowed me to slide down and then climb up a less steep angle.

I got more bloodied by the act but I did not consider the effects. I wanted only to go to the other side and show this deer that I too could accomplish the unthinkable.

He didn't wait around for my pride to catch up. He took off, and I think I heard him say, "sucker" into the wind as he made his exit.

I continued to climb to the top when I realized that I had only 20 minutes of daylight left, if I was lucky, and that I had no idea where in the hell I was or how to get out. I considered phoning my husband to ask him about survivalist tips, but I didn't because (1) I did not have a signal, and (2) I did not want to think about making rain.

I scurried along at a rapid pace hoping to see some sign of the lake or civilization. Nothing.

I finally got a signal and I thought maybe, if it got dark, I could call St. Francis of Central Avenue, who spends every Tuesday night in Bloomington, and he could call some sort of park ranger or someone to come get me out of this predicament. And then I thought I'd rather freeze overnight in those woods than call him for help because he would realize what a total emotional retard that I was to have gotten lost alone in the woods with no long pants or anything except running shorts, tank top, and a skimpy windbreaker. He will think I am surely in need of something he cannot offer and that would compromise our relationship. More important, he would feel responsible for me getting lost in there and that I did not want.

So I trudged on and I began to get a bit panicky. Then I remembered that when I came into the woods the sun was at my back and so if I walked in the direction of the sunset, surely I would find my place. It worked. I ran through for about 15 minutes and I finally saw water. I climbed down one last steep ravine and I walked over the water rocks, and onto the path which I was originally intended to experience.

It was a dirt path near the water. I was not sure which direction to take it around the lake, but I figured there were a couple of fishing boats out there. I could always yell out to them if need be. I took a gamble and went left and within about a half mile I was in view of the parking lot.

It was 5:30 p.m. and darkness was falling.

I said a prayer of thanksgiving for all I had seen and done in the past 3 hours.

I emerged from the woods a different person--a person who had followed no path but who had found her way nonetheless.

One thing is certain and that is I made some rain that day in the woods. I worked in a way I could never have imagined. Every muscle in my body ached. I was exhausted.

I sent St. Francis of Central Avenue a text message telling him that this run deserved a standing ovation.

Then I gave the run a standing ovation, on the corner of the edge of the path, where my feet met the water and my eyes met the horizon.


Griffey Lake Run Photos: