That's Why God Made Treadmills

Today I had the good fortune of receiving absolution prior to my run. I made a spontaneous stop in to confession on my way to run. Running with a clear conscience is interesting because the usual problem solving is not necessary. I am free to run without looking at myself.

The confession was direct and quick and and afterwards the priest led me to the area where the Blessed Sacrament resides. He said that for my penance I was to spend some time in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. I thought to myself, "Now?" I guess so because that is where I was led and I sat for a few minutes thinking about the run I was to complete, and I invited the Good Lord to join me on my run so that we could visit while we ran, and He accepted--or so I wanted to believe He did accept my invitation.

Being that I have never heard the voice of God, I chatted on my cell phone with my dear friend Anne just before my legs moved from neutral into high gear. Anne has this incredibly interesting Jewish Mother living inside of her. I mean that with all love and kindness--it is not Anne's fault that she was born with this Jewish Mother inside of her. I think it was from Anne's prior life and Little-Miss-Jewish-Mother simply refuses to be ignored in this life.

I spoke to Anne about the beautiful butterflies that I have been seeing while running this week. Anne is my butterfly friend. When our butterfly discussion neared its end, Jewish Mother needed to be heard. She was oh, so subtle, but I recognize her early warning signs. This is because I know Jewish Mother well. She has a real need to show herself to me because I bring about her finest points.

She knows I am incorrigible.

Jewish Mother began to emerge with subtlety when I told her about my penance. She said that I should view that penance as a reward and not a punishment. I thought to myself that I may have just heard a tinge of Jewish Mother in her voice. Jewish Mother then made a passing reference to running on the treadmill rather than outdoors in the heat. I thought to myself, "there you are beloved Jewish Mother! Let's talk!"

Jewish Mother said to me, "I don't think you should be running in this heat. I am serious! You look great but you will not look great in a casket. This heat is not meant for running in!"

I goaded Jewish Mother when I replied that people at my funeral would comment about what a nice, small casket I had. I told Jewish Mother, "I am used to the heat. I have been running in it all summer. I like the heat. I don't even notice it most of the time."

Jewish Mother was thrilled with my response because Jewish Mother could really come out in full force: "I guess that is just you. One thing I know is you are going to do what you want to do, no matter what anyone says. This heat is not good for you, especially with all of your health issues. But you never listen. You just do what you want to do."

I reasoned with Jewish Mother that if I did drop dead from running in the heat, at least I had just done my confession and that my soul was taken care of. Jewish Mother was not amused.

I assured Jewish Mother that her thoughts were sinking in to my head and that I intended to do my long run Sunday beginning at 7 a.m.

Jewish Mother said, "that's why God made treadmills..."

I can never win with Jewish Mother. One thing for certain is that she will be back. I love Jewish Mother. And I love my friend Anne in whom she dwells.